Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Can I make their Legacy live?



I didn't really know loss of family members until I was in my mid 20s. In part I think that made me very lucky not to have known loss at a young age, but I also think it made it hard for me to truly know how to act when it finally came around. The first truly close family member I lost was my Grandpa (my mother's father). He always was and always will be Grandpa, just Grandpa. My other Grandfather was Grandpa Willis that was how I distinguished between them as a child, but Grandpa had first claim to it and it was his to keep always. Grandpa was a great man, not perfect by any means but he was a great man. He had full body arthritis for the entirety of the time I knew him, which slowly and painfully took away a body that was made to play and excel at sports. Yet he was given a heart that would push him through and a mind that could solve just about anything. He couldn't lift his hands above his head but he could play catch and throw a perfect spiral with a football. Vice grips were his best friend anytime he was build or fixing anything. He LOVED my Grandma and he was a good ol' boy in this. He could make jokes and what not around the guys but that was not to be brought in front of his wife, you were to have manners. 50 years they shared together....that is unheard of these days. He held on as long as he possibly could spending over half his life in pain, but finally that heart which pushed him through soo many things finally gave out on him. That left us with a huge hole in our family that we have tried so very hard to mend, but never to cover up or forget lest we forget the legacy he left in us.

While still healing we were hit yet again with the loss of my cousin Brian. He was the one of us that truly exemplified Family. My Uncle and Brian's mother were never married so he instantly became part of two families, both of which cherished him. It went further though, both of his parents did get married and he was now a part of four families, all of which loved him. He to had a huge heart that had to push his body. Brian was diagnosed with Diabetes at a young age (he was also lactose intolerant which always made for fun eating adventures) but he looked perfectly healthy as a young boy even into his early 20s. He was my ninja cousin, and as little as I got to hang out with him I really looked up to him and loved. He was a black belt in Tea Kwon Do by the time I even knew he was in it and I wanted to be one also. He had a whole room of trophies and medals. I was in awe when I saw all of them, Just after he hit his 20s my family moved and I saw even less of him, but I understand now that there were a lot of choices made that his body would pay for later. He made it out of that stage of his life with a very weakened body, but not a weakened heart. He would surround himself with family and love until just like Grandpa his heart finally gave out. This time it hurt even more, because it was out of order. The young aren't supposed to be buried by the old, kids aren't supposed to go before their parents. Many people didn't know how to handle it all. There were hurt feeling and cracks in the family, all of which tore me up because of all the people in the family he loved family the most being endeared to four different ones.

Hopefully we have all come to a place where we can live out the Legacy of these two great men of our family and be loving, wise and creative and hopefully let their legacy (known or not) spread to those who never even knew these guys.

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