Sunday, December 16, 2012

That time of year

So it is that time of year where we should be thankful for family, friends and life...but it seems that the world doesn't get that so I am going to at least do my part in being thankful even if everything isn't perfect.
I know I have moved around a lot over the last few years, but looking back I see that I was in some good places even though I didn't think so at times.
First I ran back to AZ after I graduated from college with no plan and ended up staying with my grandparents for two years, who also had moved back around the same time. This was interesting and I am soo thankful that they let me in and helped me out so much, but even more so that it just happened that way, because when grandpa had heart issues and ended up in and out of the hospital I was there. Of everyone I think me and grandma were the two that can remember exactly the last conversations we got to have with him. He came back from a hospital stay and came in and we talked about how the nurses had to keep checking his catheters which were in a private area so he tried to be modest and cover himself when they did, but they seemed unfazed and was finally like "well ok if they don't care I don't care". This made me laugh really hard. That said I am so very grateful that I even had the opportunity.
I then left again and went to Arkansas to take a position at a non-profit camp for at risk youth in Little Rock. This time is still a bit confusing for me, but I know I learned a lot about myself and just new ways to think about things. It was hard and really tested me and in the end I think I ultimately fail because I left the position after some very intense circumstances. I think that came does wonderful things and has wonderful people involved with it and I hope that in my 6 months I helped make a difference for at least one kid. So while still confused and unclear on this one it did lead to my next one.
After leaving Arkansas I had no where to really go back to so I went back to where my parents are in Oklahoma a state I have never really had the desire to live in but that is how things go. I am thankful for this though because my mother recently got really sick and went to the hospital where they had to do emergency surgery. She almost died. If I had been somewhere else I probably would have had a much harder time getting down to where my parents live. My first visit mom was sedated and really had no idea I was there but it was really hard on my dad and I am glad I could be there for him. My second visit (Thanksgiving) mom was back in the hospital, but was awake the whole time and she knew I was there so it was nice to be there for her this time as well as my dad and sister.
So even though a lot of this is because of very sad things I am very glad at this point that I have been where I have been and thankful for my family, friends and life.